I grew up in a house full of books. No, that’s not true. I grew up in a house with a large bookshelf in the dining room full of books. Well, that’s not entirely true either. I grew up in a house with a small bookcase in the dining room filled with Reader’s Digest condensed reads, and dusty books bought from antique shops because they looked pretty on the shelf, that helped to create the ”olde worlde“ look that complemented my father’s taste in interiors.
As a child I did not go to bookshops and there were no real books in my house. Yet my mother, my sisters, and I read all the time. So, if we did not buy books or own books, then where did our books come from? They came from, as clichéd as it sounds, a branch library—a five-minute drive, a gnarly Edwardian house standing on a corner, stained glass window, handrails beeswaxy sticky under our small fingers, heavy patterned carpets, polished brass rails, a curved desk in the center of the room encircling ladies with glasses on chains and knitted waistcoats.
And here we came every week, my sister, my mother, and I, and we had tiny tickets made of card that slotted into a tiny card folder and we were allowed first three books a week, then four when we were eight, then five when we were 11. I don’t know who decided that 11-year-olds could read more books than eight year olds could, but I think it was done more as marker of encouragement and reward than anything else.
And here in this tiny room I sat cross-legged in the children’s corner, where I traveled the world with Ant and Bee, unknowingly teaching myself to read in the process (Angela Banner’s books were designed to be self-read), and then went around the corner into the adults’ section where I discovered Agatha Christie. I took out five a week and within three months I’d read them all.
At some point I did come back to my father’s bookshelf; hidden between the strange junk shop titles was a scattering of Charles Dickens. I devoured these at the age of 12, in the absence of anything else to devour, and was all the richer for it. Each year my father would buy a book at the airport for our annual holiday—a Wilbur Smith, a Dick Francis, a Jeffrey Archer. I read these too, before they got thrown away or left at the hotel. I found in his bedside drawer a racy book about a famous British ’70s porn star called Linda Lovelace. Yes, I read it. It was rude, but it was also funny and had a great narrative arc.
In my early 20s I married a man who was bad and wrong in every way, apart from one. He read books. In an effort to improve me (he seemed only to have taken me into his life in order to improve me), he gave me his precious books to read, each one handed to me somberly and with a backstory. So, for five years I read men’s books only. I read Will Self and Julian Barnes and Martin Amis and Kingsley Amis and Stewart O’Nan and Bret Easton Ellis and Clive Barker.
The day I left my first husband, I slept in my sister’s bedroom in my mother’s house and found the only book she’d left behind when she left home: The Colour of Memory by Geoff Dyer, a slacker novel written before there were slacker novels. It remains one of my favorite books of all time, and a never-ending reminder that plot isn’t always everything. Then I fell in love with someone new and he wooed me with A Hundred Years of Solitude, and I did not like it but he did, and I read it to please him.
So for so many years, I read what was there, what was given to me, what was at hand, what my tiny branch library had room for on their shelves.
It wasn’t until my mid-20s that I began to buy books and decide for myself what I really loved. And what I really loved, it transpired, was everything. But in particular, I loved psychological thrillers. So now, I read and I write in the same genre. But if this sounds limited, it is not because of all that came before—the melange of borrowed books and other people’s favorites and things that looked nice on shelves and lurked sordidly in drawers and sat abandoned in empty teenage bedrooms. All of that is in there whenever I write a book, all of the books I didn’t choose, but which chose me.
Lisa Jewell is the internationally bestselling author of 18 novels, including the New York Times bestseller Then She Was Gone, as well as I Found You, The Girls in the Garden, and The House We Grew Up In. In total, her novels have sold more than two million copies across the English-speaking world and her work has also been translated into 16 languages so far. Lisa lives in London with her husband and their two daughters. Connect with her on Twitter @LisaJewellUK and on Facebook @LisaJewellOfficial.