Kevin Burton Smith

Brass knuckles and bullet-casing jewelry for all the good little girls and boys

anatomically_correct_heartWhy eat your own heart out, when you can eat a delicious (if rather gruesome) Antatomically Correct Chocolate Human Heart ($16.95) crafted from ten ounces of premium milk chocolate and wrapped in a clear cello bag with red ribbon. Also available in a hefty one-pound size, for those who have big hearts. But of course, the warped chocolatiers at also offer chocolate brains, caskets, and hearses, all crafted from chocolate to die for.

magnifying_glass_necklacePerfect for evenings when you want to act both the vamp and the sleuth, the playful Magnifying Glass Necklaces ($21.00-$24.00) from Crumpet Cake on Etsy look like some quaint antiques, with their antique silver finishes and Victorian motifs, but they’re also genuine magnifying glasses. This funky blend of playful form and clue-seeking function is ideal for the glamorous, hard-working girl detective on your list.

copper_brass_knuckles_mugNothing says manliness more than the Copper: Brass Knuckles Mug ($18.98), inspired by the BBC America show starring über-macho Tom Weston-Jones as rough, tough Irish-American cop Kevin Corcoran, as he stomps down the slummy, scummy streets of lower Manhattan in the days just after the American Civil War, dispensing justice, head butts, and kidney punches. Sleek black with engraved brass metallic handles, this mug is so damn manly you could even drink decaf herbal tea out of it, and people would still avoid you. The perfect mug for the office.

avalee_bulletnecklaceAnother treasure from an Etsy seller, Bullet Casing Earrings and Bullet Casing Necklaces ($28.97-$36.00), from Trapper Creek, Alaska jewlery artist Joni Marie, are perfect for the femme fatale on your list, who ought to enjoy this tantalizing blend of class and intrigue. These upcycled actual bullet casings have faceted sparkling iridescent crystals in various colors, with 14K gold hardware and chains. Dangle with danger.

psycho_shower_curtainWant to make sure you live alone forever? Get this disturbing shower Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat Set ($14.99) and you’ll never have to worry about unwanted company or return visitors. The 100-percent polyester shower curtain comes pre-smeared with bloody hand prints, measures approximately 71” x 71” and comes with a full set of shower curtain hooks. For full effect, though, you’ll want the matching 27.5” x 19.5” bath mat as well, conveniently stained with bloody footprints. Add some Blood Bath Shower Gel ($4.95) in a convenient plasma bag dispenser and a couple of Blood Bath Bloody Hand Towels ($14.99 each), and even you might get a little freaked when you go in your bathroom.

scrabble_pendantOne last goodie from the Etsy gang is the Scrabble Tile Pendant ($7.95). These vintage pendants are handmade from a wooden Scrabble tile. The image is glued to the game piece and sealed with a scratch resistant epoxy resin, then carefully hand sanded for smooth edges and a professional look, making for a fun, distinctive and colorful piece. Attached is a silver plated bail which will accommodate most cords and chains. Each pendant measures approximately .75” x .85,” and comes with a 24 inch silver plated ball chain. Also available as a keychain. Check the Books and Music section of the store for great possibilities like Got Books? or Stay Calm and Read On, various Nancy Drew tiles, and Edgar Allan Poe.